Pilot

Pilot is the first episode of the British-American sitcom The Turbos, airing first on September 27, 2015. It was rated TV-PG-DLV for suggestive sexual and violent dialogue, salty language, and depictions of gun violence along with war. After syndication, it is rated TV-PG-LV for daytime airing, with suggestive material cut out.

Synopsis
James "Max" Turbo (voice of DAN RUSSELL), a Maryland CIA agent, is forced to investigate a rash of criminal activity in urban Baltimore, which turns out to be behind the mind of his arch enemy, Dr. Richard Spectre (ALTON BROWN). Meanwhile, Dave (JUSTIN SPRATZER), the middle child and eldest boy of the family, is consulting one of his dad's co-workers (guest star ALAN TUDYK) to be his personal bodyguard at school, but things go awry when a lawsuit is filed by a family after a fight.

Transcript
Max (Voiceover): It was a day like all others. Julia was gone to deliver some random person's mail, I would have to drive four, I meant three, kids to school, and then off to work I go. Unsurprisingly, I take sleep very, very seriously.

(Max wakes up to semester's wife gone. Tired, he stumbles down the stairs, into his dining room chair.)

Max: Good morning kids!

Kristen: (Sarcastically) Yeah, gm dad.

(Kristen, texting an unnamed contact, types "6" to notify the contact her parent is in the room.)' 

Dave: Finished my comedy transcript last night, Dad!

Max: Good son.

Dave: How do you get YouTube to come and film you, Dad?

(Max clears his throat. He glances at random objects around the kitchen.)

Max: Be a knife bowl!

Dave: What the hell does that mean?

Max: Just do it.

Dave: Good point.

Robert: Who wants breakfast?

(Robert puts two pancakes on four plates each, making sure he gives them bacon and eggs as well.)

Max: Thanks Rob. For the youngest child, you are a good cook.

Robert: Wanna know my secret ingredient?

Everyone except Robert: Yes please!

Robert: Dog [bleep].

(Everyone except Robert slowly stops chewing and race to the bathroom in a frenzy.)

Max: (wearily) Alright, let's get you little twits to school.

Max (Voiceover): And that's how you get away with swearing in front of kids, even though I do it (slows down) all the time.

(It fades to commercials for two minutes, then it fades back to school. Everyone in the middle school class walks in to see Joe naked lipsyncing to Timmy Turner by Desiigner.)

Joe: Timmy Timmy Timmy Turner, can't wash my shoes- (starts incoherently bumbling) Woohoohoo--

(Joe sees the kids and immediately crouches under desk.)

Joe: What the frick are you doing here?

Freddy: To kick his ass! (Points at Dave.)

Dave: Oh is that so?

(Dave and Freddy are plunged to the point where Dave jumps onto Freddy, and the explosive stickfight starts. Meanwhile, everyone stares at the still naked Joe.)

Joe: Class dismissed, good discounts, anything, just get out of my office. (He slowly crouches with sadness.)

(Fades to Max's job in the CIA.)

Max (Voiceover): Ah, yes. The biggest mistake in my life. Well, accepting this job the President asked me to do, just cause I was his best man. That.

CIA Director: MAX!!!

(Max immediately starts to run toward him.)

Max: Yes, Director?

CIA Director: Nothing.

Facts
 * Max's codename, "Green Westjacket", was supposedly chosen because he was born with his mother wearing a green jacket in Colorado. Another speculation is that Max's green jacket, worn in this episode, Tis' The Legion, and Age of Alcohol, is imported from the West.
 * A frequent code in the series is 2181. This code is in every episode so far.
 * Freddy Jakson, Dave's bully in this episode, was intentionally named after Freddy Krueger, an infamous horror villain.
 * ===Gags===
 * Shower Gag: Max steps out of shower and says "Ow! Why, marble floors? Why?"
 * Billboard Truck Gag: "Erecto-Gone! I'll trim your 'tree', now half less free!"
 * Face Reveal Gag: Man behind the mask is Leonardo of TMNT